Your whole life is made up of relationships and the bonds you form with other people. Whether it is the relationship with your parents, a great friendship, or even a romantic relationship, there are always going to be ups and downs. The only way to get through those times is to enhance and strengthen your bond with them by doing these 5 steps.
Be Intentional
Ok I have to be honest…the word intentional is my favorite word of all time! I have actually been trying to make the word part of my lifestyle in as many ways as possible. The word means to do something with purpose or deliberately. I have found that many of my relationships have grown just by the fact that I am more intentional about them. For a while I used to think that my parent/friend/spouse needed to reach out to me first because then that meant that they wanted to talk to me. Well after reflecting on the “Golden Rule” for a bit one Sunday morning, I realized that I need to do to others what I would like done to me. The fact that I wanted them to reach out first meant that they too would like to be reached out to first. So now I make an intentional effort to reach out to my friends and family on a weekly basis to check in on them, see how they are doing personally, as well as set time aside on my calendar to spend with them. But we’ll get to more on that later.
Listen Carefully
I’m sure you have heard a million times that “Communication is key” when it comes to relationships. Well a major part of communication is listening. I have found that when I carefully listen to what a parent, friend, or even my husband is saying, I learn more about them. I think this is one of the easiest ways to enhance your relationships with other people. One of my favorite things to say is that God gave you 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason. Listening should be done twice as much as talking. You won’t believe the little things you’ll pick up on when you intentionally listen to them.
Plan Special Time with Them
One of the greatest gifts that can be given is time spent with the ones you love. I know for a fact that my mom would rather spend time with me at the nail salon getting our nails done together than me buying her a nail polish kit. The fact that we can do an activity together makes it more special in her eyes. That is why romantic partners have date nights. It is about spending intentional time together. The main point of this step though is to PLAN. Saying you are going to do something and actually doing something are two different things. I can say all month to a friend “We should hang out”. But all that is saying to them is that you want to hang out but its not that much of a priority to you. Now when you say, “We should hang out! Are you free this Saturday at 2pm?”, then you are telling that person that not only do you want to spend time with them but you plan to follow through with it. I promise you that the more time you spend with them, the stronger your relationship will be.
Remember Important Dates
Now this might seem like a small step but if you are being intentional and listening carefully, then you will start to remember important dates in their life. The most obvious date to remember is their birthday of course. I like to send cute text messages or even birthday cards in the mail to the important people in my life to let them know that I am thinking of them on their birthday. But that’s really not the dates I’m talking about. I think its important to remember anything that is important to them. Dates such as wedding anniversaries, pet birthdays, baptism days, an important test, or even the anniversary of a day that is special to the two of you. No matter what the day is, the fact that you took the time to remember it and send them a little note will brighten up their day.
Be Present
I think this last one can be a hard concept to grasp for most of us, especially in today’s world. The act of being present with someone is slowly fading away. I know that I am guilty of this at many different times where I am at an event or party with family and friends and I spend my time on my phone instead of being with them. I’m either scrolling Facebook or looking on Pinterest at the lives of other people versus spending quality time with the people I actually care about. Now the second that I set my phone down (or better yet put it away) the other person starts to notice. Again, I am no longer putting them as second priority and I am now physically showing them that I want to be present with them.
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